hi there! as i sit outside after dark in a heat wave i know one thing: there is a dog protecting me and my wife. this dog exists in another layer of reality (yes, reality has layers. get with the program! but i digress.) there is a dog who looks to the untrained eye like a translucent scoobydoo who is preventing anything terrible from happening to me and my wife. we are very sick but this dog ensures that we will not die in our sleep. as soon as we have recovered we will be walking outside and a car will nearly hit us, when, just in time, this dog will step on a manhole cover and hoverboard it in front of the vehicle. it will put its hand out and say "STOP." the car will suddenly stop. one day my wife and i are going to stop paying rent and going to work. in my spare time i will write a book, and dedicate it to the dog. by this time the dog will know almost an infinite number of people.

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